SLC - here we come!

Well, the bambina and I are heading out to Salt Lake City to spend Christmas with the Jones'. I'm excited to see Jordan and Ethan (and of course Jake and Staci) and their new digs in the mountains!

It's been record breaking heat here in NC - 80 degrees most days this week - and I am really looking forward to spending some time in the snow. Who knew how much I would miss winter. I mean, I didn't think I liked snow all that much until the past two years we've only seen snow one day in 365 1/3. I really am looking forward to it.

I'm also looking forward to being back here on the 30th - and then heading to Lincoln in January. When I get home from all these trips, Phil's return home will only be 2 short months away! Let's just say that while I do love some of the female friendships I have made through this deployment - there is nothing in the world like being able to see your spouse every day and have him make you have belly laughs...... I'm really looking forward to those most! He cracks me up!

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Best photo of the year

Ho! Ho! Ho! HUM.... :(

So the second year of spending holidays without your spouse really sucks the big one! Last year, I guess we were both so excited.... we were excitedly anticipating the birth of our little sweet pea - and we thought we were only going to have to do this for 5 months. We were planning on spending this Christmas at home together with just our little family - and here we are still dealing with this stupid deployment.

Can I just say (imagine me jumping up and down sing songing this) FOUR MORE MONTHS, JUST FOUR MORE MONTHS, ONLY FOUR MORE MONTHS and we'll be together again!

I have a new appreciation for the single parents of the world if I haven't already mentioned that. I mean, there are days when I just can't be a very good parent having to do it full time, 24/7. I am the only one feeding her, changing her diapers, consoling her, playing with her, changing her diapers, putting her down for naps, bathing her, helping her get to sleep, playing with her, changing her diapers, etc. etc. etc. The other day (consider this the confession of my sin) she was whining in the back seat of the car, in her carseat. Not for any particular reason, or a reason I still don't know. I was so tired, I said quite loudly (and probably whining myself), "STOP WHINING! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU ARE WHINING AND I CAN'T HELP YOU!" Then I shoved the pacifier in her mouth, not hard, but not gently, either. I felt like a horrible mother. Fortunately days like that don't occur very often. In fact, that's the only one I've had like that. It used to be, when I wasn't sleeping worth a darn at night, that I would put her in her swing when she wouldn't fall asleep quickly and I didn't have the energy to keep bouncing her or rocking her or whatever her preference was that morning, so I could go back to bed. I think I may have done that 4 times. There are just those days when you can't do it. Who knew parenting would be so darn demanding.

I've also been considering going back to work part time. I am really torn on this. I don't want her in daycare full time, but I have to pay for it full time. There are some advantages to this - I would have more than just mom's morning out if I needed it. But then, I look at her little smiling face when I hold her up above my head, and I think about how much less time I'll have to play "airplane" and read books and hold her and talk to her and just love the heck out of her..... Sometimes I wish the decisions were already made for me...... Regardless, it would be nice to have the opportunity to talk things like this over with someone - like my absent husband. Darn deployment!

All American Santa with Mackenzie

Gremlins and other random thoughts

Ok, so it used to take me all day to clean my house and now, I seem to manage it in an hour and a half. Is it because I know there is a finite amount of time and I have to get it done before naptime is over? That must be it!

I think we have Gremlins in our house. I went to make the guest bed today and put the towels back in the bathroom and I seem to be missing a hand towel and some pillow cases. How does this happen? Are these the same gremlins that wake my daughter up 1/2 way from her naps by scratching at her face and making her cry? I think they are!

On another note - my fat girl jeans that I bought the other day because it's way too late to be wearing maternity clothes still, ehem, are loose! YEAH! But, I'm looking in my closet for a belt and I put my black one on - what a funny stinking joke! It doesn't even wrap around my waist anymore. They say to borrow your husband's clothes when you're pregnant, right? Well, I commandeered a belt today. So there!

Ah, and the drama over the bed is over. I upgraded to a very expensive mattress (who knew this would be a life-long process?) so that I could get a comfotable night's sleep. It was delivered yesterday and life is back to normal. Thankfully.

Bed Drama and printer happiness

After 15 months of owning this defective bed, I finally decided to take care of getting it replaced last week. I went in and tried out the beds that they told me were the actual replacement for the bed we have. What a freaking joke! We spent an ungodly amount of money on this mattress - because we both wanted to be comfortable. It was a fluffy pillow top and man, was it COMFY! Yesterday, they brought the new mattress to my house and replaced the old one. I should have noticed when it was 6 inches lower than my old one that it was going to be a problem, but I didn't do anything about it.

So, I baked a bunch of pumpkin muffins for a bakesale next weekend and finally decided to try to go to bed aroun 11 p.m. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours (which actually were hours) until Mackenzie woke up at 2:30 a.m. for an early feeding. So I fed her, and went back to try to lie down again. Tossed and turned a little longer..... til about 4:00 or 4:30 when I decided to get up and do some yoga and just wait for time to pass.

I took her to MMO (Mom's Morning Out) and parked my happy butt outside of the furniture store until they opened at 10:00 this morning to "upgrade" my mattress. So, I spent another $300 just to get the same quality (of course, she assured me it was an upgrade, which I don't believe, but whatever!) Hopefully tomorrow night I won't have to sleep in the guest room - which is where anyone would find me tonight.

On the printer note - I can finally print photos again on my printer at home! Thanks Dad! :)

Clever weight loss strategy

Ok, so I lost one pound this past weekend - probably the past week overall. Wanna know how I did it?

I cut 6 inches off of my hair..... :)

You should try that, too!

Zen.....

I don't know what it is about Yoga that improves your frame of mind and makes you feel balanced. Maybe it is because of all the stretching - it must release the toxins that build up in your muscles, and at the same time, it must release all those endorphins that make you feel good, but I feel FANTASTIC after 2 short 2o minute sessions. I dug out my old tapes which I had recorded before I ever met Phil, and then I found it on the Oh! Oxygen network at 6:00 a.m. M, T, W, F. I woke up this morning and taped today's show after starting it - but Mackenzie woke up, so I only got about 20 minutes.

Honestly, as out of shape as I am, 20 minutes is a good start. I can't believe how much I really needed that kind of a work out. We've been walking around the neighborhood, but my muscles feel like they are breathing, if that makes any sense at all! I am enjoying my coffee so much more this morning, too. It's just nice to sit and truly be relaxed and centered. This may sound kind of strange, but when I do yoga regularly, the "noise" of my life is replaced or removed and I feel closer to God. Today, I feel closer to God than I have in a long time, and that feels good, too!

I also had recently started feeling a pulling in my back - our 1 year old bed has a huge crater in the middle of it (which they should be fixing for us soon) that has been hurting my back to sleep on. I did my 20 minutes of yoga last night before bed, which really stretched my lower back out. when I laid down in bed, I could feel it stretching even more, and this morning I woke up and it hurt a little less than it did yesterday when I got out of bed. And, when I did the 20 minutes of yoga this morning, I didn't feel the sharp pinging in my back when I was doing some of the stretching moves. So, I am going to do my best to keep this up and you can help keep my accountable.

And, if you want, you can join me and we can do it "together". :)

Cha Cha Cha Changes!

I guess living with a baby makes you realize how quickly things change. I mean, I look at Mackenzie and can't help but think that one year ago yesterday, her daddy left for Iraq and she was somewhere inside of me and I didn't even know it.

I also look at her and think about 13 weeks ago, when I wanted her to come out of my tummy. I just can't believe she grew inside of me for 9 1/2 months! She's already so big, so when I hold her in my arms, I have thoughts of how small she was, even though she was big (if that makes any sense.)

She also has been sleeping in her own bed in her own room for a whole week now. The first night was hardest on me - not her! I get nervous having her room so far away on the other side of the house, but fortunately we have Bradley, who barks at the UPS truck or the garbage truck just for stopping in front of the house and driving down the street, to keep us safe.

As of today, her changing table is what was once her bassinet and it is also in her room. I have my room back! No more pack and play, no more bassinet. No more diapers, baby clothes, baby blankets - it's all in her room.

Now, the living room is another story. There are tummy time mats all over the floor, plus overhead play "gyms" and rattles, blankets, boppy pillows and various other toys strewn about, with an overflowing basket of baby laundry on the loveseat...... Who knew this kind of mess would actually make me smile????? If Phil could see us now - he'd wonder where my anal retention with regard to the clean house went!

Halloween in Lincoln

I think this is Austin!? Hard to tell under that dark coat of fur! This is Alex as a Dishwasher..... I've got some dishes for him!

I believe this is Ayden? What a cute, I mean SCARY dragon!

Look at that cute little smile under the giraffe costume! You look great Anna!

And the lovely unicorn is so tall, it must be Audrey!

The group shot!

St. Clare of Assisi

http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintc03.htm

I just found the strangest thing – St. Clare of Assisi’s memorial day (and date of her death) is August 11, Mackenzie CLARE Raymond’s birthday! How interesting is that?

I googled it because I was explaining Mackenzie's middle name to Phil, my father in the law the other day. I think he's the only person who has gotten the entire explanation of why I chose Clare and the spelling.

I lost both of my grandmother's last year - my favorite Dorothy Louise Smith in January and my other one Clara Louise Carlton on November 5, the day before Phil left for Iraq. 2 weeks after Phil left, we found out we were expecting and I just knew deep down that we would have a little girl. I pinpointed what I thought to be the moment of conception (ironically, probably after Phil left, so I knew X chromosome sperm live longer).

Anyway, I loved my Grandma Dorothy (but didn't have much of a relationship with the other one) that I wanted to honor her in some way. But Dorothy, Dottie, Dotty Lou? I just couldn't make it work. So I thought about the timing of Grandma In the Mountains (Clara)'s passing. I didn't really want to name the child after that Grandma, since she was less than nice to us as we were growing up - even though I think Clara is a pretty name. I still couldn't do much with Louise (Sorry Marlene Louise).

I decided that naming our child Clare would honor both of my grandmothers. Afterall, Dorothy insisted that I see Clara every time I came to Fresno, even when I didn't want to. And she would go with me when she was able.

The choosing of Mackenzie wasn't quite as well thought out. I told Phil that I wanted to name the child Clare. He said he loved it and since we had the French side covered, we needed something Irish to go along with it. So I gave him a list of about 3 Irish girl's names that I liked and we never got past Mackenzie. He really liked that one, so we kept it. Initially she was going to be Clare Mackenzie, but about 7 months pregnant, I switched it.

Mackenzie means "daughter of a wise leader" and Clare (according to the link above) means "bright or brilliant" and our last name means "protecting hands".

happy belated birthday daddy!

Phil's birthday was Sunday and we got to talk to him. He had a great day and got to celebrate with the Birthday Party in a box we sent him. He had a Shrek party this year.

Here's a fun picture from our walk today...

A tribute to my mom - inspired by Lisa

Ok, so I was reading a friend of mine's blog from Wednesday before she went in for her scheduled induction. She was writing about how she was rubbing her belly and imagining all the things her daughter would do in her life and then started thinking about how her mom must have done the same thing when pregnant with her, and her grandma before that, and on and on.

You know, having a child yourself makes you appreciate everything your own mother went through with you. So, I guess I've started to take my mother for granted a little less and now I understand what she went through (having had 6 of us) with a little more empathy. And, especially the 3 younger ones of us, who she cared for day in and day out by herself. I mean, she was working, going to school and taking care of 3 little people! I only have to take care of 1 little person by myself and I'm exhausted!

It's so strange that for 34 years I never gave it much thought, that whole parenthood thing. I thought, "oh fun, we get to have a baby!" never once considering how life changing it would actually be. And not just life changing from the standpoint of having a little buddy to tote everywhere with you! I mean, emotion changing, viewpoint changing, experiential learning type of stuff.

So, for all the sacrifices you made to care for your children, specifically me, THANKS MOM!

I feel so behind!

I haven't updated this in a week I guess and I feel so behind!

Every day, something new happens. Last week, she seemed to have found her feet and this week, she keeps working on using her hands better. I'm amazed at the progress she makes every day. She has those link toys and once I give it to her, she'll grab it and put it straight into her mouth.

As for the feet, she deliberately lifts each one and it looks like she's figuring out how to use them, too. It's funny, I thought she'd get more excited about discovering her body and how to use it, but it's not that big of a deal to her, I guess. She just seems to expect to be able to use them.

On Saturday, Terri is going to come over and take more pictures. I figure with Halloween and Thanksgiving approaching quickly, now is the time to get some more taken. She's got a couple of cute little outfits to wear for Halloween. (The plan is that if she is awake, she'll be helping me answer the door. We've got 10 lbs. of candy for the kids in the neighborhood - yes we get TONS O' Trick or Treaters here!)

March of the Grandparents (last week)

Then Grandma Elaine and Grandpa Jim came for the weekend on the 11th (My 2 month birthday)

Peepaw visited on Wednesday the 10th...

Shots, yuck!

Mackenzie got her 2 month shots yesterday. Poor baby got 4, two in each leg. Her poor little face turned so red and she screamed while they were giving her the shots. Once they were done, she was ok, but she needed to sleep. She also got an oral vaccination for Rotavirus (some form of major stomach flu that hospitalizes children - it's a new one).

She was fine when we got home and ate normally, then we both took a nap together. When she woke up from that one, she cried and cried and cried and didn't want to eat and just wanted to be held. She had a little temperature, but I've been giving her Tylenol every 4 hours to help her feel better. I'll tell you, IT WORKS!

This morning she woke up crying just about the time she was to get her Tylenol and then once it kicked in, she was ok. Poor baby.

Of course, I had a MAJOR mommy guilt moment when I picked her up from Mom's Morning Out and she gave me this big old smile. I knew deep down inside that she had to get shots later in the day, and I broke down into tears! It was such a horrible feeling. Just think, we get to do it again in January!

How I felt yesterday

~Quiet down cobwebs~dust go to sleep~

~I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep~

Or my version.....

Quiet down puppy dogs - dog hair go to sleep

I'm holding my baby (for 6 hours) and babies don't keep

At the Beach Friday, Oct. 12

Bedtime Routines

Ok, so bedtime seems to be getting easier. I've been trying to push it back from 8 to 9 and ultimately want a 10 p.m. bedtime. Tonight was like clockwork. I've been trying to do things in the same order each night but just a little later each night. So, tonight, we went on a walk (we actually did this earlier, since it's starting to get dark earlier....) and then came home had some tummy time and watched the Daddy video. Normally, those two things are daytime activities, so I think I bought myself a little time with them.

So here's the bedtime routine - I'm trying to get a book read somewhere in here, but tonight she didn't let me...... It's so simple. We go in the bedroom, change the diaper, put on some PJ's, turn off the light, turn off the living room light and sit in the recliner to try to read a book. Then, we go to the couch, feed the baby, and she falls asleep. Now, I just have to put her to bed in the crib.

I started her a little bit in her bedroom today at naptime. She was asleep and I put her down, and then she woke up and cried, which she normally doesn't cry when she wakes up, she normally lets out a little whimper. So, we'll just keep trying until it doesn't scare the heck out of her. :)

Bye Bye, Binkie!

Ok, so yesterday we were at the post office and on the way home, Mackenzie seemed to have discovered that the wiggly thing on the end of her arm was what pulled the pacifier out of her mouth. We were stopped at a red light and I looked back into the little mirror I put back there and she seemed to really be thinking hard about that thing and how to get the pacifier string out of her clenched fist.

Well, the next time I looked back there, the fist was being jammed into her mouth without the string, so she must have figured something out! She's been jamming her fist into her mouth for the past couple of days, and I made the comment to Phil (in an email) that once she figured out how to get her thumb to stick out so she could suck on it, I thought that old pacifier might be history.

I tried giving the binkie to her last night before she went to sleep, and she took it reluctantly. In the middle of the night, I heard her smacking and rooting around with her fist by her mouth. I tried to give her the pacifier and she wanted nothing to do with it.

This morning, she was in her swing, watching Daddy on t.v. when she got really quiet, so I went to check and she found that thumb! I know she's wanted it since we were in the hospital! (there's one picture of her thumb in her mouth from the hospital). I am trying to capture a good photo, but whenever I get close, she moves it away.....

It is adorable for now, until she needs braces. And you can't really cut off the end of her thumb to make her stop sucking on it, like you would a pacifier...... Hopefully it's temporary!

Getting sick with a baby

Ok, so even the thought of being sick with a sinus infection and having to care for an infant sounds like a lot of hard work. I mean, isn't it enough that I don't get a full nights' sleep ever anyway? Imagine trying to recover from being sick. I am just hoping that whatever I have that seems to not be draining well past my neck actually goes away instead of blowing up full force! I've been drinking the OJ, taking some sudafed and using the saline spray, as well as taking my prenatal vitamins. I can't take anything more than that, except of course, Tylenol, but I don't need that at the moment. (fortunately, everything is still clear!)

We had a big big day yesterday and she sure let me know about it last night! When she gets a little "over done" during the day, she will cry and tell me all about it before going to bed. Last night wasn't the worst I've ever seen. She only cried for 40 minutes, but then it still took another hour and a 1/2 to put her down. (She had to eat, I had to burp her, she started crying again for a couple minutes, etc.) Now, I am awake at 4 a.m., I think out of habit, waiting to see if she wakes up for her 6 hour feeding. I am actually hoping she will sleep until 6 this morning, since she didn't go down until 10:15.

Today is the Heart Walk here in Fay. and if we're feeling up to it, and can get our act together so early in the day, we may go down and walk it. Lord knows I could sure use the exercise, now that the Dr. has released me to do such things. We took a 2 1/2 mile walk the other day around the park in Hope Mills. There's a great path that is 1.1 miles around, then a smaller path attached which is like .6 miles. I figure that going up there is a cheaper and healthier alternative for a daily outting than going to Walmart or Target or anywhere else really. But I guess since I weigh what I weigh, I actually burn more calories walking than I did when I weighed less. How's that for thinking positively? :) Another good thing is that now that my milk supply has regulated itself (and I am no longer soaking everything I wear) I am not craving sugar in every form anymore. For the 6 weeks, all I wanted was cookies, brownies, candy bars, milk, juice, you name it! Now my blood sugar doesn't seem to be fluctuating quite as much. Thankfully. I can eat like a normal person again - except that my timing depends on the little one.

Yucky colds

Well, we both have a cold this week. Mackenzie got hers on Monday. She had the runny eyes, sniffles, and a little cough. We didn't get to go to Mom's Morning Out on Tuesday. I debated about it, and then thought better of giving it to everyone else, plus getting her something else on top of it, so we stayed home and cuddled with each other on the couch.

Today, I feel like the crud is going to get me, but I'm trying not to let it. :)

We heard from Phil the other day. He called kind of late for him. We got to talk for about 40 minutes and then we got cut off. He sounded good, but tired. I think he just wanted to hear Mackenzie talk. So, he talked to her and she whined a little and he said that made his whole day!

His birthday is coming up on Oct. 28, so if anyone wants to send him a birthday greeting, his email is philip.raymond@us.army.mil.

Little Tailgater

This one speaks for itself...

Jodie and David's visit

Look at how big and bright my eyes are! I look like my daddy!
I really enjoyed having Aunt Jodie and cousin David here. Thanks for all of your help!

The Big Smile

I guess I forgot to put up this picture. I just love it, I get one of these almost every morning before she eats! And the ceiling fan gets a lot of them, too. If only I could capture her talking to us to post on here. It's great!

Flying Solo

Well, Mackenzie and I are doing it by ourselves now. Until Tuesday when Jodie and David come. We seem to be managing ok. We've only cried 2 of the 3 nights we've been on our own and last night was only for about 20 minutes. I've learned a thing or two about keeping her calm.... hanging out by the running dryer and swaying her back and forth seems to help get her to sleep.

We manage to take an outing almost every day. Yesterday we went to the Post Office to mail Daddy a care package. We just got to the front of the line and he called, so we drove around for an hour and then went to a different Post Office to mail the package. (They have these annoying signs at the Post Office that say "No Cell Phones" so I hopped out of line.)

Otherwise, we manage to stay pretty busy inside the house. Whether we are watching daddy on t.v., having tummy time, eating, cleaning up the dog hair, trying to take a shower, giving baby a bath, taking a nap, or checking email, we don't have a lot of time for other stuff right now. It's absolutely amazing - I never knew time could go so fast doing such repetitive stuff.

Today we are heading to Ft. Bragg for a spouse's coffee at Sports USA. We are supposed to wear our team colors, mine don't fit, so Mackenzie will be the only Husker Fan sportin' colors today (thanks to Aunt Marlene).

Which means I have one more minute to finish my lunch and then I need to get everyone ready to head out the door. (Yes, this can take an hour!)

Screaming Fits!

Well, Mackenzie has decided that she really likes to stay awake during the day, pretty much all day. For awhile she was napping for about 3 hours in the middle of the day - like 12 - 3 and honestly, I hope she goes back to doing that because when she doesn't get that nap, she manages to have a 45 minute cry session to blow off the steam from the overstimulation of the day.

This has happened I guess Saturday night (at 3:00 a.m. - thank you Aunt Carla for coming to my rescue) and then again last night starting around 8 and ending around 9:30. I can handle it if it's early in the day (and maybe now I can handle it a little better at any time just knowing that it will end because she can't scream like that forever) but there's nothing in the world like the feeling that your child needs you, and there's nothing you can do to console her. Its' heartbreaking to just let them cry it out, but I guess that's how they blow off all the steam during from the day.

She has done lots of amazing little things in her 5 short weeks out of the womb. She began smiling a couple weeks ago, and I'm waiting for the conscious giggle (she's done it in her sleep a number of times, and it is the cutest noise I've ever heard). When she smiles, her whole face gets into it - it's a wide, open mouthed, ear to ear grin! I'll try to get a picture to post soon!

Apparently she has learned a lot about the world, too. The other day, she started fussing when I put her in the baby bjorn facing in. So, I folded it down and faced her out and she seemed to tolerate it much better. She's not really quite old enough to "ride" like that, because it requires a lot more neck control than she has (even though she's pretty strong in the neck). Anyway, last night Carla and I went for a short walk around the neighborhood and I tried putting her in the baby bjorn facing in, so she would nap a little.

She decided that she didn't like being in like that, and began fussing a little bit. So, I open one of the sides and it seems to make her happy, so we take her out, turn her around and she goes on the walk facing out the whole time. As soon as she could see what was going on, she seemed as content as could be. She seemed to be able to see the rooftops of the houses, and she would turn her head back and forth the entire time we were on our walk. She checked out the trees, the houses, and the sun. Then, when we walked by this empty lot, she started fussing because she couldn't see anything.

Carla and I just laughed in amazement, and decided she's a smart little cookie who has decided that she is pretty happy to be here on earth and as long as she is, by God, she's going to see it! And not just a little at a time, all of it at once! I guess I can see why she's not as fond of riding through the neighborhood in her stroller. She has to lay down and she can't see anything.

She also spends time each day watching videos of Daddy reading books to her. She hears his voice and starts looking around for him. You can tell she recognizes him and his voice (I'm pretty sure she can see him on t.v. when she's up close) and is looking around for him wondering where he is. I took one of the tapes that he made awhile back for me to play to my tummy, and played in and layed her under one of his smelly t-shirts the other day. I got out of her sight line and just rubbed the back of her head. Hopefully that will help bond her to him. Thank goodness we can do such things.

A Schedule?

I hope so! Mackenzie slept almost 6 hours last night! YEAH! She gets into this fussy fitful state around 9 or 10 at night. She doesn't cry or whine, but she physically fights off the sleep that is trying to overtake her body. It's crazy - her arms twitch and move violently about, she lets out cries and grunts that sound like she's frustrated about something, and then with lots of shhhh ing and rubbing her head, arms and back and nurse her a little bit. If that doesn't work, mom bundles the baby up, puts a pacifier in her mouth and goes into bed and lays down with her until we usually both fall asleep. This is definitely the method we use at 3 a.m.

I can't believe how big she's getting, too. Her 0-3 months are getting small, and some of her newborns never fit to begin with! I am amazed at how quickly she's growing and changing! I need to take a picture and post it and will do that when I have another minute or two.

Sleeping - yeah!

For the past 3 nights, Mackenzie has slept for 4 1/2 hours at a time, minimum. Tonight, she fell asleep at 11 and woke up at 3:45. I have to say that I am excited because in my view, 3 or 4 nights in a row shows a trend.

Last night, she was starving before she wanted to go down, and I had nothing in the reserves to give her, except what I had pumped in the morning. (I seem to have an overabundance of milk in the early morning, so I pump and I guess that's what she'll be eating at night.) So, she ate a good bottle, fell right asleep and slept. And slept, and so did I!

YEAH!!!!! It's nice to get good, solid sleep like that. As hard as it is to feed her every 2 hours during the day, getting the little bit of extra sleep at night sure is a nice reward!

What's Happening Here

So, imagine nursing a baby every 2 -3 hours during the day, spending an hour each time and then either trying to put her to sleep or napping with her or trying to get something to eat the rest of the time.......

Like I told Mom today, this is exhausting, and I'm not even exhausted yet!

She says it will get better! :)

Aug. 29, 2007

Well, today is the first day I've thought about having to send Phil back and man does that stink! He encouraged me to get out of the house for a pedicure, so I uploaded some pictures and had Walmart do the one hour processing thing. I bought him a brag book and a frame so he can have a picture of his family either on his desk at work or in his room. Then I spent a few minutes filling the pages of his brag book with pictures from the past couple of weeks. Of course, I was crying the entire time, in the Walmart parking lot.

I am really going to miss having him around. He's been great about burping her, feeding her bottles when I need to sleep, doing laundry, holding her, doing dishes, cooking dinner, bringing me water, basically being my cabana boy. It's been wonderful! I don't remember him having been so helpful before, since he was working all the time, but I do know he did a lot of stuff around here that I never gave him enough credit for.

Anyway, mom is leaving Nebraska to come here tomorrow. She'll be driving and will make it sometime on Saturday. I think part of Phil wants mom to take him to the airport, so we don't have a mushy goodbye in the terminal, and so he can keep up his tough Army guy thing while in uniform. I don't blame him at all - I know if he says his goodbyes at home, he'll have the drive to the airport to let it all go..... in fact, when he left last November, he left the house like normal in the morning, and so did I. It wasn't until I went to pick up his car from the airport that it sunk in that he was gone. And then it really sunk in. This is the hardest part, but once we get through it, we'll be on the downhill slide for this deployment. Instead of counting down the days until leave, we'll be counting down the days until he's home for good.

More Pictures

Busy, Busy!

We have been super busy the past couple of days, and all I can say is, thank goodness Mackenzie is such a good baby!



Friday, we went to the Dr. for our 2 week visit. She is only measuring 20.2 inches long (she shrunk like they said she might - where the top of her head was swollen when she came out)but now weighs 8 lbs 9.7 oz. She's a growing girl!



She also has a cyst on her right arm, which the pediatrician thought was some type of calcification, maybe from how she was resting in the womb or something. Anyway, we have to keep an eye on that!



Yesterday Terri and her husband Mike came over and took some naked baby pictures and some family photos, since we're all here together. Of course Mackenzie took every opportunity to wet on the soft, fluffy blankets we were using as her backdrops. :) Other than a few pee pee tricks, she was very good.



After that, we went to Lumberton and had dinner at the Outback Steakhouse - and then spent 5 hours buying a new car. Ok, a "new to us" car. Phil made a great point about needing to transport the dogs, groceries, kids, etc. so we bought a Honda Pilot - very nice. Great room, will cost a fortune in gas, but that's ok. It'll get us from point A to B with all of our gear.

Growth Spurt for sure!

Mackenzie is definitely having a growth spurt - we changed a diaper this morning and had to leave behind all the Newborn sizes.... it's amazing that she's already outgrown them. Granted, size 1 diapers are for 8 lbs and up, so technically, she should have missed the newborn size, but we had a couple packages that we needed to us.

I think I will take the rest to the ALMS House around the corner from us, and donate them there, along with a couple of formula samples I recieved.

Baby slept long hours during the night last night. I think she ate at 10:30, then at 2:30 and then again at 6:00 and 7:45 this morning. Which means that Mom and Dad got to sleep a little. The 2:30 feeding was kind of challenging - she get's really frustrated when the milk comes out of the breast so slow and she is starving, so Phil took her and fed her an ounce from a bottle, just to calm her down. Then, she latched right on.

At the 6:00 a.m. feeding, the situation was similar, so he fed her 1/2 an ounce from the bottle, and then latched right on to me. I am obviously trying to avoid the stress of a crying fest, but when she's all wound up like that, we get nothing accomplished and mom gets just as frustrated as baby. I know she needs to learn that milk from me comes out a lot slower and she's going to have to be patient with it, but when her blood sugar is obviously low, her hands get in the way, she can't latch, etc.

So, we are making slow progress, but we are definitely making progress in the nursing dept.

And yes, I got out of the house yesterday. It was 9:30 p.m. but Phil and I took an outting with the sleeping baby to Walmart - not terribly exciting, but we accomplished something at least.

Happy Birthday Jordan! (Updated)

Jordan is 4 today! Yeah! He got to go to the zoo to celebrate.

We're still just hanging out here. We got a package from Uncle Chris and Aunt Linda for the baby - Piglet and the bathtub - thanks Chris and Linda! (We also got a package from Miss Christine - CUTE purple outfits that she might be wearing when Christine comes to visit in October.)

Phil had to go to Ft. Bragg to take care of some stuff today. It amazes me that while he's on leave he has all these things to do for work. It happens every time.

Meanwhile, baby and I chilled at the house. She's been up most of the day, wanting to eat about every 1 1/2 hours - Aunt Carla said she's about 10 days old, so her first growth spurt. Well, let's just say, I haven't had to pump today once. I also haven't napped today, either. Which I really need.

I am finally well enough to sleep in the bed without feeling like I will split apart my incision again. I guess that means things are on the mend. YEAH! Now, if only I could get out of this fog - I feel like I'm in an altered state of mind - either fatigue or a dreamlike state. Maybe I need to leave the house. :)

Life with baby

Daddy and Mackenzie - just chillin'

Mommy and Mackenzie - before bedtime

Mackenzie's first bath - she wet on the towel!

Baby Magic!

Wow - so we both just hold little Mackenzie and stare at her all the time. It is as if having this child has somehow erased the rest of the world, and it's just the three of us left. All the bad stuff is gone, and only the innocent and pure remains. I wonder if that's what heaven is like?

We've discovered a thing or two about our little princess. She has Phil's blood type, so she is definitely related to him. She has this little dimple on her tailbone that is identical to his, and when she has her pacifier (she is a suckling fool, I've seen her grab her thumb a few times, too!) in her mouth, her eyes definitely come from her dad! She has his long, skinny toes, too!

Phil is enjoying every moment he can with her. He is such a wonderful, hands on daddy, that I am sure going to miss the involvement when he has to travel back to never never land. I've got a couple more weeks to enjoy it all.

As for the nursing, we tried really hard in the hospital to begin the process, and I think had everyone and their nurse trying to tell us how to do it. The morning that they noticed her bilirubin (jaundice) level was elevated from the previous day, they came into our room at around 2 a.m. to relocate us to a different room, just as I was going to try to feed the child. At 6:00 a.m. we had 6 people in our room, the child was screaming and there was no way we would be successful, so I began to pump (and pump and pump and pump) and we started syringe feeding the child, so she would be nourished. I decided at that moment that I was going to wait until I was home and all the interupptions ceased, and I was able to rest and relax.

So, starting yesterday morning, when I was taking the graveyard shift (Phil takes 2nd shift so I can sleep, I take 3rd so he can), we were all alone and it was before she was actually starving to death, so we gave it a shot! I guess the pumping has helped extract my lazy nipples and she was able to latch on at least a little bit - long enough for me to know it worked!

We tried a total of 3 times yesterday and once today. I am still pumping, but we're getting the hang of it, and we'll have a stockpile of milk if nothing else! Keep your fingers crossed that we continue to progress in this area. It's something I really want to do, and think it's the best thing for her.

We had our first and second outtings yesterday with the baby. First, we went to the pediatrician, her weight gain is good, she's almost back to her birthweight. Her bilirubin level is continuing to go down (yeah!) and she doesn't have any noticeable defects or illnesses (yeah!). So, we go back next Friday. After that, we headed to the AHA to meet Terri. She's going to come over next weekend for some family photos. Just around the corner from the AHA, we went to her new pediatrician to try to establish her as a new patient. Not a success story there, yet.

Last night, we made the first trip to Target. I had to buy some granny panties so that I could continue to wear underwear and not have to worry about being on top of my incision or smushing my still pudgy belly (Uh, Marlene, I lost 13 lbs as of yesterday and still am losing all the fluids they pumped into me. I keep telling everyone that my legs and ankles look like they belong to a 500 lb. woman). And then, we decided it was time for some additional nursing bras, daddy got some stuff for her, etc. We also bought a couple more baby bath towels, since yesterday's bath created a little yellow puddle on one of her towels, and so once we used the second, we were out!

This child has done little aside from eat and sleep, poop and occasionally pee. I know it's normal to sleep a lot, but I think she got in about 22 hours yesterday. Man, what I would give for that much sleep.

Today is more of the same..... eatting, pumping, sleeping, eatting, pumping, sleeping....

Labor and Delivery Photos

Photos - I know, FINALLY!

SHE'S HERE, HE'S HERE! (Updated)

After a week of drama, in the hospital and out, I am happy to report that Mackenzie Clare arrived on Saturday, August 11, 2007 at 10:45 p.m. weighing an astounding 8 lbs. 5 oz. and a tall 21 1/2 inches long!

It was a long ordeal and after 4 or 5 hours of hard pushing, we went to the Operating Room for a C-section. Not the original plan, but nothing I wasn't prepared for.

When I have a chance to upload pictures I will. In the meantime, just picture a beautiful little angel!

Phil arrived safely to the hospital on Tuesday afternoon, tired, but looking great! He fell madly, instantly in love with his little girl and hasn't put her down since he got here!

We are laying low for a bit and will make contact with everyone, but keep checking back here, because you never know what you'll find!

Canine Intelligence

Dogs are amazing creatures. I am amazed at their intelligence sometimes. Not like they are geniuses or anything, but I’ve noticed recently how they communicate and what they understand.

For instance, when I get ready in the morning, the last thing I do before walking out of the bathroom is spray my perfume. Once I spray my perfume, both dogs run out of the bathroom into the living room. I also spray hairspray earlier in the routine, but neither one reacts to that.

When I flush the toilet, especially when I’m upstairs, usually I go downstairs because I’m done checking email. This is a cue to head toward the stairs. There are actually a couple of them for heading downstairs – if I turn on/off this little fan up here or if the computer “dings” like a program is closing, they understand that business upstairs is done.

I believe Rudy thinks that when I sit down on the couch and get comfortable it is her cue to want to either play or go outside, unless she desires love and affection, which will cause her to jump on the couch and lay down nearly on top of me so that I can pet her more easily.

They are also very in tuned to the time of day that it is. Miraculously, they both know when it’s about 6:30 or 7:00 a.m. Bradley starts wagging his tail, rather, he thumps it on the floor or the footboard of the bed and Rudy comes out from her under the bed “cave” and shakes and props herself up on the side of the bed so that I know, that she knows that it’s time to eat. And if I don’t look at her or notice that she’s up, she’ll do her little whining thing, which is really more of a whimper. If I say no, she’ll go back under the bed for another 30 – 45 minutes and wait patiently for me, OR if she’s feeling cuddly and she can see a spot on the bed where she can land safely, she’ll jump up, start kissing me and then crawl under the blankets and cuddle with me.

A similar thing happens around 4:00 p.m. (which is weird, I don’t feed them until 5:00). They both look at me like we’re ready to go for a walk, their tails start wagging, Rudy starts running back and forth like she just won the lottery and they look at me until I ask if they are hungry or want to eat.

It’s as if feeding time is their favorite time of day. It’s funny because when I ask if they want to go for a walk, you’d think that was their favorite time of day. And before I put the infant seat in the car, I would take them both to get ice cream (for me, not them) and now I can only take Rudy, but when I ask if they want to “go”, it’s like that is their favorite thing to do today. I guess they just like to be involved and get out of the house and eat. I do feel a little bad for them when they are stuck in the house all day. Rudy wants to go outside so bad, but it’s been too hot for them.

Oh yeah, and when I leave the house and tell them to "be good" it's like they completely understand that they are not coming with me. Rudy will not even make an attempt to go into the garage, which she normally does to sniff around the dog food.

I just looked at Bradley and asked "is it time?" and his ears perked up, tail started wagging and he flew down the stairs, knowing that I plan to feed him any minute now.

The hottest day of the year - so far

Thank you Megan F. for taking this picture today. I promise, this is the last one. I don't know if I've grown any more or not, I feel like I have, but who knows. She definitely has not dropped.

We've had record temps, as has 1/2 the country. I had to venture out today to do a little last minute shopping for some birthday gifts, thank you gifts, milk and of course, lunch with my friend.

As for my "condition", I noticed that the baby moved a little and I have had more contractions today than I've had, and they are getting slightly stronger. I'm still not sure if they are real, but I figure now is the time to get everything done anyway, just in case. :)

I still need to bake some cookies for Phil and vacuum the house for the guests. It won't be perfect, but it will be done!

Phil Called!

Yeah - Phil called last night! He sounded both exhausted and ready to come home for a rest.

I am always amazed at how he can keep going, day in and day out working the crazy hours and keeping his sanity. Let's just say by 3 a.m. or whatever time it was for him, he's a little cynical and cranky. He told me he laid into someone and made them cry.... I know he has no patience for stupidity, and I'm sure that is what had been exhibited by whomever.

We didn't get to talk long, just enough for him to let me know his flight on Sunday is from Kuwait, so I expect him to be in Fayetteville sometime on Monday the 13th. Depending on what time they have an available bed for the labor induction, and how long that process takes, I think he stands a really good chance of witnessing her birth.

My friend Kristen told me that it took about 12 hours for the cervix softening thing to work before they gave her the pitocin went into labor, so, not that I want to sit there for that long waiting, but I won't be in a huge hurry if he's not here.

I'm amazed at how things just seem to be falling in place. Like I told Mom tonight, I obviously have had to plan for many things, including having several plan B's, C's and D's (which are still in place) and no matter what I did or didn't do, things just divinely continue to fall into place, which gives me just an ounce of serenity. Even though I have woken up with several stress dreams lately. Couldn't be because there's a lot going on right now, huh?

Nonstress Test #1 and Doris Ann, my doula

Today I went in for NST #1 this week. I have another scheduled on Thursday morning. Basically, when a baby goes past it's due date they make sure the baby is ok in there. They hook us up to monitors to check heartbeats, movements, etc. (She's doing great!)

Then they do an AFI, which is something about measuring the amniotic fluid. At first, they didn't think she had much, so I asked the question..... if there's not enough in there, would I be induced earlier (answer is yes!) but they found some.

I also asked, since I currently do not have an appointment in the clinic (I was in Labor & Delivery today and Thursday) if she could check my cervix. Still nothing happening there either. Whatever I felt yesterday must have been my imagination, dehydration or constipation. (not really, but it rhymes....)

And finally, the answer to literally the biggest question I have, "is she really 8 lbs?" And the answer to that is "YEAH, she's about 8 lbs" and the answer to the follow up question about whether or not she'll fit coming out, "no one knows until you try".

The beautiful thing is that next Monday at this time, instead of writing on my blog, I will be in some form of labor or another. There is a light at the end of this LONG, LONG, LONG tunnel!

Not to close on a down note, but my doula, Doris Ann lost her mom last night. I believe she had some form of cancer (maybe lung cancer?) and fought for a long time. I called her after my appointment this morning to tell her that I am fine and hanging in there, and I could tell something was wrong. She's been staying in the hospital with her around the clock (when she's not helping with a birth) to be there for her. Please remember her and her family in your prayers. The funeral is Wednesday. She did say, "Don't worry about me. I have to do this for you guys, it will really help me a lot".

I keep thinking that little Mackenzie is something of an angel. I mean, of course she is, but she was conceived when no one thought she would or could be, she has helped keep her mommy and daddy both close and positive throughout an unexpectedly long deployment, she was conceived within days of one of my grandmothers' passing away, AND she seems to understand that she needs to wait just a little longer for Daddy and even Doris Ann. She's just a little miracle in so many ways, and certainly a gift from God. I hope I can always remember that.

Free Coffee

FREE FOLGERS SAMPLE (It was their idea- Proctor & Gamble- to post this link on my blog)

So, today I decided to go online and get a free sample of coffee. It looks good, and I've already bought some to send to Phil. But before I buy it for me, I want to try it, so if you're a coffee drinker, I've included the link so that you can get a free sample too.

Otherwise, today has been kind of boring. I'm having a few contractions, nothing major, probably just dehydrated, since it's like 700 degrees outside today. I've also felt some weird sensations "down there" and am thinking maybe my cervix is actually starting to soften and perhaps dilate. She hasn't dropped yet, though, although I do feel like someone has kicked me in the pelvic bone and bruised me pretty good - must be the bones moving around to make room - it's been the most painful ever for the past 2 days.

I did get to enjoy reading the Sunday paper and having my 1/2 caff coffee. It's been a rather relaxing kind of day. I still need to get out and run to Walmart for some milk and a couple other things, but I've got plenty of time for that!

Which Way is Out?

How cool would it be if there was a flashing neon sign next to the placenta in the womb with a huge arrow, pointing the way out into the world? BIRTH CANAL EXIT HERE or LIFE OUTSIDE THE WOMB 12 INCHES. Do you think that would freak a kid out? I suppose it probably would, since holding a flashlight to your tummy makes them move a little.

Of course, if we had that, we’d probably all be born able to follow directions and I know for a fact that following directions is learned behavior. And some people learn that the hard way. Oh yeah, and the whole reading thing. There would be no reason for school if we came out reading signs….

Thank God I'm not an Elephant!

Today's post is for Megan, since she insisted that I do one every day! :)

I just read that if I were an elephant, I'd only be 1/2 way done with gestation! Can you imagine? 18 months of carrying a baby?

So, the only 2 ways to naturally induce labor yourself are walking and sex. I've been walking, and well, the other is quite out of the question until my husband is home.... so I guess walking it is!

The Evening Primrose Oil might actually be working to soften my cervix. I've felt a few little new sensations in that area, so hopefully that's a good sign. But, when I got out of the shower and saw my belly in the mirror, I could tell her little head was still way out in front on the right side - since there was a head shaped bulge at the bottom of my belly. Looks like I've got that Dunlap's syndrome - you know, when your belly "dun lapped over your belt".

No Wonder....

It's no wonder I am getting impatient and antsy and frustrated and kind of depressed all at the same time.... I feel like time is standing still, waiting for the two most important things that are supposed to happen to me this year.

It's like when you are a little kid and you are waiting for Christmas, the first day of school, a booster shot, a trip to the dentist, having a 20 page paper due tomorrow that you haven't even done the research on, moving to a new place and your birthday party all at one time!

It's funny how both events are so wonderful, and yet there is an excrutiating amount of pain associated with each. I'm excited to have this baby and to see my husband, but I am dreading the pain of both childbirth and having to send him back for another 8 1/2 months. (At least with childbirth, they can give me drugs.)

There is a column in the Fayetteville Observer each week in the Military Section (which most papers don't have, I realize) written by an Army Wife who lives here. Today's column was her account of the seemingly simple trip to the airport and their goodbye as her husband deployed on July 4 to join a unit that is already gone. Of course, hearing about and imagining other people's goodbye's are sometimes just as tough as living your own. During your own you have to put one foot in front of the other and just make it through each moment. During someone else's you can feel the emotions that go along with it, not just for them, but for yourself.

When Phil and I were heading back home from our honeymoon, there was a family in the Honolulu airport that was sending Dad back after his 2 weeks of leave. Watching them all hugging and trying to be strong gave me a glimpse into my own future and helped me to understand what I would someday experience. You know, I cried for probably 15 minutes for those complete strangers as we watched them say their goodbyes and him board the plane. I'll never forget the little girl waiting and waving the airplane goodbye, standing in the window until she couldn't see it anymore. Phil had just watched them silently.....

Induction August 13

Ok, so there really is an end to this madness!

When I went to the Dr. today, after waiting almost 2 hours to be seen (ah, Tricare...) I was told to take Evening Primrose oil to help soften my cervix and we scheduled her induction date for Monday August 13. She said they like to schedule them for 41 weeks and 5 days, this is 41 weeks and 6. I know it seems like a long time from now, especially since I had a nervous breakdown on the treadmill this morning because my body doesn't seem to be cooperating, but with any luck Phil may be here for it or at least shortly after. We can all go home from the hospital together.

She also guestimated her weight to be around 7 lbs. 10 oz., so mommy has to quit eatting ice cream if she's going to come out the right way!

Snakes on a Plant

Ok, so here's a stupid silly one for you..... I spent this evening in the Labor and Delivery triage area of Womack Army Medical Center tonight because of a stupid snake. Yes, I said a snake. (No, this photo is not the snake I saw, but it looks like it.)

Had I not just spoken about snakes yesterday with my next door neighbor who told me she saw one, I may not have ever seen this little bastard. But, I eyeballed a red, ripe tomato hiding underneath the zuchini leaves and since I couldn't reach it from outside the fenced area of my garden, HAD to go in and rescue it from the aphids.

So, I get in, pick the tomato and start looking around at the cucumbers and the zuchini, and I suddenly spy this long, skinny snake just hanging out on top (yes, I said ON TOP) of the tallest zuchini plant leaves. He apparently had just feasted on either a bunch of aphids (good for him) or on a cherry tomatoe, I'm not sure. But he had this really full, fat spot on his belly and he was just chillin out, digesting.

So, I FREAK OUT and try to get out of the garden as quickly as I can. Not an easy feat for someone with an extra 30 lbs who is kind of front/top heavy. So, I trip over my 2 feet of chicken wire fence so that I am not "confined" with this slithery creature. I pretty much got my flip flop caught on it, scratched up my leg and landed kind of sideways on my hip, my leg, my arm and perhaps my belly. I don't know for sure if I hit it or not.

So, I called my friend (props to Jenn B.) who is an OB, who told me to go to Labor & Delivery to be hooked up to monitors and have some tests run, just in case! She said best case scenario, I go home in a couple hours (yeah!) and worst case, the perform a c-section on the spot.

So, I head down and sit there for 4 hours in which time I had the mother of all cervical checks. This guy must have been an intern or resident, but he OBVIOUSLY does not have a vagina (or even access to one) and maybe should have gone to school to be an appliance repairman or an auto mechanic or even a landscaper, since he's got such great digging skills!

I also found out that I am having contractions. Maybe I dislodged something in the fall, but I had quite a few in those 4 hours, and while not painful, I could definitely tell they were contractions. Maybe they are the end result of the cervical check?

Anyway, cervix is still closed and not ripe. Baby is comfy in her home, I guess.....

Tomorrow, Tommorow....I love ya, tomorrow

You're only a day away!

Don't I wish? I think Mackenzie's due date will come and go and be about as uneventful as the past 2 weeks. I know I said she would probably come on the 8th, but it's amazing how, even if you are trying to see past the due date, you start to lose your patience, or maybe begin to worry about whether or not you CAN birth the child at all. These are probably all irrational fears, but it must be the start of questioning your competence as a parent. I am suddenly much more mentally prepared for a c-section, too.

I didn't walk yesterday, I was way too tired, but I walked this morning which brought on some Braxton Hicks contractions. That's a good sign, I haven't had many of those, and I actually had a few while on the treadmill.

I need to run to Priscilla's today and check on her house again and make sure her plants are still alive. While I do that, I may stop by the mall and walk around (not shop like I did the other day).

Crazy Sleep Schedule

So, now my sleep is really messed up.

Last night the baby was moving A LOT and SHE'S STRONG until she finally let me go to bed around 1:00 a.m. so I couldn't actually fall asleep in the first place. I went to FREE Movies on Demand and ordered Alice in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll was smoking something for sure) and watched it hoping it would help me sleep.... but the baby wasn't as bored as I was for sure. In fact, she seemed to love it!

I woke up a couple times to pee and then hungry around 4:00 a.m. with persistent and nagging thoughts about my unripened cervix, or wondering if and when I will actually go into labor, the thought that with all the pillows I sleep on, I should probably try to to protect them with a towel in case my water breaks, if they have to induce me, when will they do it (I want the baby to have her own birthday, so we can't induce on the 8th, 9th, 10th or 11th) and if they do it on a certain date, who will come, my mom or mother in law? and then I began trying to visualize the baby moving down, my cervix softening and thinning, to see if it might just help. (They say people who visualize their white blood cells fighting infection can put cancer into remission if they do it right and consistently, so, why not?) these crazy thoughts kept me up for about 2 1/2 hours or until around 6:30 a.m.

So, then, around 7:30 this morning, the dogs woke me up to eat, as they always do, and I tried to go back to bed around 8:00 until around 9:30.

I'm surprised I didn't go to sleep earlier last night. Kristen S and I went to the mall yesterday and spent 5 hours on our feet shopping. Then, after dinner I took another walk, so I was totally pooped out by 9:00 and in my mind ready for bed. (We bought our husbands some new clothes for when they come home on R&R. We hope they like them.)

So, I really feel like I only got about 5 hours of sleep last night and like I should go take a morning nap. Ah, such is my life. Sleeping, walking, waiting, stressing, cleaning, and being enslaved to the whims of my dogs, who apparently think my new job is to play with them all the time.

Ode to waiting patiently

Thank you Ricky Nelson for this oldie.... it appropriately sums up how I feel about life in general right now. Walking 3 times a day per Dr.'s orders and waiting for Phil to come home.


I'm walkin, yes indeed and I'm talkin bout you and me
I'm hopin that you'll come back to me, uh uh
I'm lonely as I can be, I'm waitin for your company
I'm hopin that you'll come back to me

Whatcha gonna do when the well runs dry
you gonna run away and hide
I'm gonna be right by your side for you, pretty baby, I'd even die.

I'm walkin, yes indeed and I'm talkin bout you and me
I'm hopin that you'll come back to me.
I'm walkin, yes indeed and I'm talkin bout you and me
I'm hopin that you'll come back to me, uh uh
I'm lonely as I can be, I'm waiting for your company
I'm hopin that you'll come back to me.

Whatcha gonna do when the well runs dry
you gonna sit right down and cry
whatcha gonna do when I say bye bye
all you're gonna do is dry your eye

I'm walkin, yes indeed and I'm talkin bout you and me
I'm hopin that you'll come back to me.

Plus, here's a fun article.... http://www.babyzone.com/loadpage/article.asp?contentid=820

Update from Doctor's Appointment

Well, they finally checked me to see if I was dilated, effaced, etc. And the verdict is......

My cervix is closed and hard as a rock and according to her, "we're going to have to induce you".... and, "well, I've seen worse cervix's at this point".......

Fun times..... :) Maybe she's really holding out for daddy to come home. So, we'll just be patient with that, too. I have a feeling she won't be needing the newborn diapers we have. Or the just born sized onsies. Or the cute little premie outfit Aunt Carla sent.

Maybe I should change my prediction to August 14.

This one speaks for itself

News from Iraq

READ ME! I'm an article about Phil's unit's progress.

He called today like 5 times, but we couldn't get a very good connection, so we didn't actually get to talk. I heard his voice though, and that seems to make all the difference.

He called back later on and we got to talk for awhile. He's super excited to come home and will be home on leave mid-august instead of the beginning. No big deal, he gets 18 days which is good for me, baby and him! :) and since he'll be here a little later, he goes back a little later, and we'll be over 1/2 way done with this deployment! YEAH!!!!!

The downside is that he will most likely not be here when Mackenzie is born, BUT she will be a little older and after we've established the whole nursing thing for 2 weeks, he'll be able to give her a bottle and be part of taking care of her, which I know he's really looking forward to!

Like he said, when he goes back, he'll be a changed man! (he'll have changed lots of diapers, changed baby many times, etc.)

Wanna Join my Pity Party?

Rare is the day that I actually feel sorry for myself and for the situation that I find myself. Rarely do I feel like I need to call my husband for anything. Rarely do I feel like I just don't want to play Army wife anymore. Today happens to be that day. Maybe its because the closer it gets to being time for the baby to make her arrival, the more alone I feel. Maybe it's that I wake up to new stretch marks and tighter clothes every morning, and have no one to comiserate with. Maybe it's that our anniversary is Tuesday and we can't be together for it. Maybe it just feels like there is so much happening that I feel like it's just happening to me, even though I know this, and much more is happening 1/2 way across the world, too. Maybe I'm having a hormone surge and that means the baby will be showing up soon to distract me from it. (I sure hope that's what it is.)


If not, I will just pray for more acceptance and more peace and more patience and even more ice cream to help get me through it. Afterall, what is a party without ice cream?

Cool New Duds for Mackenzie

Mackenzie got her newest outfit in the mail today. Isn't it the coolest thing ever? Especially frilly and dainty for our little girl! Between this and the bib that says "Chute Happens" with a little paratrooper on it, Daddy should be THRILLED to see her wearing both!

the website is http://www.mamamonkey.com/ and has some of the most hilarious onesies I've ever seen....

IPOO, IPEE, Who You Calling Poopy?, Who You Calling Stinky, etc.

On what's happening here, I am finally doing some of the last minute things to get ready to go into labor and bring home a baby. For instance, I went to Sears and bought a new water filter for the fridge. I know, EVERY new parent needs clean fridge water, especially if they plan to breastfeed.

I also realized we didn't have a baby brush or comb, so I ran to Target and bought that. I got the cutest little birth announcements and started filling them in, besides the obvious, date, weight, etc. It may still take 5 months to actually print all the photos and mail them, but at this point I am one step ahead of the game.

I also did what I hope is the last load of baby laundry before she comes home. You realize baby clothes are so small, but a full washing machine of little clothes takes a LONG TIME to fold and put away! Who knew?

So all I have to do between now and baby being born is continue to eat 5 or 6 times a day, shower at least once each day, brush my teeth, feed, medicate and bathe the dogs, vaccum the house and not die of boredom.....

Anyone feel like calling to keep me company?????????? (don't I sound lonely????) hee hee

Predictions?

Ok, so awhile back, I polled the entire family on the whole boy/girl question. Now is the time to hear any predictions with regard to birthday and time of birth.

I have thought she'd be born around August 8 - which is like 9 days late. Phil has suggested our anniversary, which is July 24. I had 2 phone calls this morning wondering if I'd gone into labor or not.

So, I'd like to hear from you - what do you think? Our actual due date is July 31......

Adventures in Pottery

Today Carron S and I went to Southern Pines for lunch, dinner and took a drive along the Pottery Highway http://www.seagrovepotteryheritage.com/. Very interesting facts to be learned about North Carolina pottery. There are some really cool ways they make these pretty glazes. http://www.philmorganpottery.org/ was absolutely beautiful, but quite expensive. $900.00 for a 2 gallon sized yellow vessel. YIKES!!!!

I bought a red piece awhile back, and so we decided today was the day to head up to Seagrove, NC http://www.discoverseagrove.com/ where they make it to find a larger piece for the living room. That place was closed, but we found a few other places. It was a nice day, until it poured down rain on us!

We went to Sweet Basil for lunch, a cute little local place in Southern Pines and then the Bonefish Grill, which I'd never eaten at before. Let's just say Mackenzie loved the Bang Bang Shrimp! :)

The day tired me out, but I am still craving a strawberry milkshake, so I am heading out to go get one before I retire for the day!

The baby's room

Well, this is the crib and the baby's room. It was easy to do. Our guest bedroom was already painted this peachy color and the curtains were already there, too. The guest bedroom was moved upstairs (thank you Megan and Brian F.) and we already had the dressers, shelves, night stand, etc. So, we got the crib (thanks Mimi and Pipa) and put it together (thanks Mimi, Pipa and Uncle Tom). Now it's just waiting for baby.

I decided it is finally time to open the boxes of bottles and make sure they are clean, so I will do that today before I head to Circuit City for today's release of NCAA 08 FOOTBALL for Phil. He'll be so surprised when he comes home! (unless of course, he's reading this too!) That's all he said he wanted when he came home - $39.99 to go purchase his game. He is pretty easy to please!

The initial descent....

I think the baby is starting to drop a little bit! Yeah! She doesn't seem to be kicking as high up in my ribs as she was a few days ago, and she seems to be cramped in and putting uncomfortable pressure on my bladder to the point where it hurts to walk around! Who knew pregnancy was so uncomfortable? What was Eve thinking?????

The dogs and I have had a boring weekend. We actually left the house today, which we didn't do yesterday. I took Rudy to get breakfast and then I played with them a little bit outside. Rudy was cute, chasing this black and yellow butterfly all over the back yard. I've never seen her jump quite so high!

Doris Ann, my doula, was supposed to come over today for a pre-natal visit, but since the weather was actually tolerable, I guess her husband wanted to ride his motorcycle, so she didn't.

I'm not sure exactly what she's going to cover in this pre-natal visit, but maybe we'll talk about my birth plan, my comfort options, etc. I just want to have this baby!!!! I would like my mobility and comfort back! I know of a couple of pressure points and other ways to stimulate contractions, so if I wanted, I could try to induce myself, but I will see what happens naturally. I still have a bag to pack, and in a way it's kind of nice to be 'fat an wracy'.