No Wonder....

It's no wonder I am getting impatient and antsy and frustrated and kind of depressed all at the same time.... I feel like time is standing still, waiting for the two most important things that are supposed to happen to me this year.

It's like when you are a little kid and you are waiting for Christmas, the first day of school, a booster shot, a trip to the dentist, having a 20 page paper due tomorrow that you haven't even done the research on, moving to a new place and your birthday party all at one time!

It's funny how both events are so wonderful, and yet there is an excrutiating amount of pain associated with each. I'm excited to have this baby and to see my husband, but I am dreading the pain of both childbirth and having to send him back for another 8 1/2 months. (At least with childbirth, they can give me drugs.)

There is a column in the Fayetteville Observer each week in the Military Section (which most papers don't have, I realize) written by an Army Wife who lives here. Today's column was her account of the seemingly simple trip to the airport and their goodbye as her husband deployed on July 4 to join a unit that is already gone. Of course, hearing about and imagining other people's goodbye's are sometimes just as tough as living your own. During your own you have to put one foot in front of the other and just make it through each moment. During someone else's you can feel the emotions that go along with it, not just for them, but for yourself.

When Phil and I were heading back home from our honeymoon, there was a family in the Honolulu airport that was sending Dad back after his 2 weeks of leave. Watching them all hugging and trying to be strong gave me a glimpse into my own future and helped me to understand what I would someday experience. You know, I cried for probably 15 minutes for those complete strangers as we watched them say their goodbyes and him board the plane. I'll never forget the little girl waiting and waving the airplane goodbye, standing in the window until she couldn't see it anymore. Phil had just watched them silently.....